'I was recommended you as someone who deals with difficult dogs'

It's a message I see in my inbox time and time again:

"I was recommended you as someone who deals with difficult dogs'

And while i understand what people mean, those words - 'deal with' and 'difficult' - sort of make me wince!

Harris the Shihtzu, who struggles with grooming due to health issues and his failing eyesight

What Difficult really means

When someone describes their dog as difficult, what they usually mean is that grooming has become stressful - for both of them. The dog might be fearful, anxious, defensive, even snapping and biting at groomers. they might have been turned away elsewhere or told they need their dog sedated.

But underneath all that behaviour, there's usually a very different story: a dog who's scared, confused, or in pain.

I don't 'deal with' difficult dogs - I listen to them

The phrase 'deal with' suggests control, correction or coercion - as if a dog's behaviour can be fixed or 'sorted out' through firmness or quick results. It can also set unrealistic expectations about what I do and how long it takes, and that can make sessions very difficult for me.

When people hear “deals with difficult dogs,” they sometimes imagine I can simply step in and fix things — that one or two sessions will “get the dog to behave.” I blame TV and social media for that a little bit. The quick-fix training montages might make great viewing, but real, lasting progress isn’t about forcing compliance; it’s about helping a dog feel genuinely safe and understood. And that takes patience, time, and consistency.

My work focuses on understanding what's driving the behaviour and helping each dog build enough trust to cope with grooming again. This might mean you need to involve your vet for assessment and/or treatment, or seek specialist help from a vet physiotherapist, because some things are beyond the skill set of even the most experienced and knowledgeable behavioural groomer. But through my Sensory Sessions and Supported Grooming services I use gentle handling and positive reinforcement to rebuild confidence. Each session moves at the dog's pace - whether that means just being comfortable in the space, accepting light touch, or gradually working towards a full groom.

Every growl, flinch, or attempt to pull away is valuable information. It's communication - not mis-behaviour or being difficult. When we listen, we can help the dog feel safe enough that they no longer need to 'shout' with their body language and we can begin to reintroduce them to a more gentle grooming approach, with positive reinforcement and choice at the centre.

Dougal the Cockapoo, who struggled with grooming due to separation from his guardian

A shift in perspective

So yes, people often recommend me for 'difficult dogs'. But here's how I'd describe what I actually do:

"I help dogs who find grooming hard to feel safe, comfortable, and understood again, using gentle, reward-based grooming and training techniques'

That process doesn't happen overnight - and that's okay. Your dog probably didn't develop these fears overnight either, I don't have a magic wand, and I have to put safety first. Sustainable progress comes from small, positive experiences repeated over time, not from forcing a breakthrough in one session.

It's also a partnership. The work we do together in grooming is only part of the picture - your dog's progress depends just as much on what happens at home: building trust, practising calm handling, recognising when your dog needs space, and involving other professionals like vets or physios when needed.

My aim isn't to 'fix' a behaviour, but to support both dog and guardian in learning a new, gentler way forward. When everyone (guardians, groomers and other professionals) is working together with patience and understanding, even the most anxious or reactive dogs can begin to relax and rediscover comfort in grooming.

If you think your dog would benefit from my services click here to send me a message. Because every dog deserves to feel safe and comfortable with what happens in the grooming environment.

#supporteddoggroomingUK #nervousdogs #anxiousdoggrooming

Lily is feeling a lot better about grooming with the process adapted for her needs.